Don't panic

It's amazing just how fast a bond can be made...and broken. Friday I spent over 3hrs facetiming Mikey. Saturday we went out and I felt butterflies. Tonight I drive to his house to basically lay around and he plays on his phone. I didn't say anything and I'm not going to. I'm making the most of the situation and I do not have expectations. Perfect validation why it's not good to expect too much.

I'm discouraged but grateful and at peace knowing in H
he does exist and he's fine tuning himself for me.

I'm tired.

Settle for more

It's my birthday week and although work is hectic, I'm in high spirits.

I'm having one of those "I need to document this" moments. Lisa just texted me she saw Carlos at the gym. For the first time ever (I think) I actually didn't care. It felt good. Progress feels good. Knowing what I'm worth feels good. Knowing my true happily ever after is in the making. It sets my heart at ease knowing and feeling that the universe is looking out for me.

I am grateful and I know everything is falling into place. I'm ready, 34.

I know

...that I SHOULDN'T be sad.
That I have tons to be grateful for.
That my time will come
That it will feel right and just fall into place
That it will happen when I'm least expecting it.

I'm always expecting it.

Radiate Your Sacred Heart

Dave is back. He contacted me Sunday and I noticed the blocked message. I hate how attracted I am to him. He seems a lot better. Therapy and time.

He stayed over last night. He's still kind of a lost soul. I'm just going to breathe and embrace our time together.

I keep seeing these beautiful sayings so I have to document them.

Yours is my heart alone.

There is a light that never goes out

Tonight Frankie, boo, and myself went to Redondo to visit cousin ken. We took the 110 and of course we got on the freeway right by Rene's apartment. I saw the window illuminate. I texted and no response. I'm actually relieved.

It's always easier when we are out of something to realize just how toxic a situation is. Ugh.

There's something special in its simplicity

Tonight I found out Cynthia's dad has passed away. Alcohol.

He lived a full life. Married his true love and had two beautiful, successful daughters. He left this earth happy and proud. My heart breaks for the girls. Lately I've been messaging Tera and now I will be seeing her at the memorial get together. Crazy how life works like that.

I signed up for school again and I want to find a dance class.

We are powered by only one of two things: Fear and Love. I want to be fearless and overflowing with love. It's a slow process, but I'm getting out of my own way.

Nostalgia

Always reminds me of my mother and very early mornings.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hr0rDW5j1KUhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hr0rDW5j1KU