He called me at 2:47pm and we literally spoke for only nineteen seconds. He is officially at basic training and I could hear it was super busy in the background. He basically told me that he loves me, missing me, and that he is safe. We hung up and my eyes burned from the tears.
:'(
Annnnnnnnnnnnd....then I checked the mail and received a letter from him. :)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
First Dance
I was at his house and I told him how I always loved this song. I told him when we get married I want this to be our first dance. It was late and kinda warm in his apartment. It was dark and there was only a glow from the TV. So, we turned on this song and we danced. I will forever remember that moment.
I can't wait to do that same dance in front of our loved ones.
Today I got not one but two letters from him. It's so high school/locked up I love it. He wrote me how he was feeling about us and I felt as if we connected more than ever. This shit's legit.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Sam the Ranch Hand
There he is, in all his glory. Sam hitch hiked to Idaho after his father passed away. His mom took off with some piece of shit actor. Sam found a home at the Hamilton ranch. This was where he was supposed to be, and he knew it. :)
I love Finding Sky. Well, I loved it up to the part where Sky goes back to LA. When I saw this film for the first time, I fell in love with it. It's very coming of age. Sky's part was very believable. The best part was my beloved Sam De La Cruz. ♥le sigh♥
Frankie texted me today telling me that the break up with Johnny has been tough and was wondering how I was doing with Sergio being gone. So far, so good. He asked how I deal with the distance and what I do to keep my spirits high. I told him I think about Sergio all day. I look at pictures, I watch his YouTube videos and the goodbye video I took on my phone. I call and text him everyday telling him how much I care and how my day is going. I just stay positive.
I have the movie on right now, I think I'm kind of obsessed, but in a good non crazy way. My heart aches just thinking about him. I remember the day he wore the infamous plaid shirt. I was sitting in the living room and he walked into the room wearing the hat and buttoning up the shirt and he said "ahhh..I think I'll just wear this today." I squealed. Literally.
Just typing and hearing his voice on the TV is getting me choked up. Today is the first day I'm feeling really sad. I told Jackie that try to protect my heart by not opening up completely about my feelings for him when I talk to other people. I guess that's where my "wall" shows. I mean, no one wants to get hurt. Maybe I subconsciously feel like if I don't "spill the beans" about how I truly feel for him, then it won't hurt as bad if things didn't work out with the both of us.
I want to let go and just embrace it. It's getting easier as the days go by. Tonight at pho, everyone was so supportive. They were telling me go with him in the name of love and everything else would just fall into place. It always does. Am I really gutsy enough to leave everything and everyone I know for that? To quit my job and lose my financial independence? In order to live on base I would have to marry him. We both want a wedding though. I am torn. I'm also getting ahead of myself. I suppose we can just revisit this in February of next year.
He's so handsome. I'm falling hard and fast. I want him. I need him. He feels like the one. I can imagine him being the father of my children. It's exciting and scary!
Pinche mosquito!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Current Obsessions
These are things that my heart is consumed with
my love ♥
they make any outfit
die.dead.funeral.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Cacao.
Sooooooo much has happened! I cannot believe I've neglected my blog for this long. The excuse I'm using this time is that I'm happy. Well, I mean there's always something to gripe about, but at this point in my life it's only work that I feel meh about. I've just passed my three month mark at Intercare. I'm happy to be employed, I'm just having some growing pains. It will pass and the light at the end of the tunnel is the fact that I know I won't be doing this forever nor will I be at that company forever. I am grateful.
Sergio.
We met on 6/23/12. We went to the Frolic Room. There was vodka tonic, popcorn, and some meaningful conversation happening that night. He lived in the scary Pico Union district. His apartment was amazing. AHH-may-ZING. He has a cat named Augie. He loves Star Trek. 32. No kids. Never married. Trumpet player. TSA worker. Know it all. Handsome. Serial monogamist.
Yes, of course I spent the night. He told me a secret when he went to bed. Something he said he felt comfortable sharing and that I would personally connect with. Something so private that I can't even share on here. Him and I know what was said. There was no sex. I just stayed. He welcomed me into his world, and I didn't want to leave. Things sped up very fast. He was leaving for the Army in late August. Him and I have discussed the fact that our pace still would've been pretty hasty no matter if he was leaving or not. I can totally see that.
Because things were so rushed, we got to a point in our relationship that couples normally don't get to for a few months. Shit got real, real fast. He aggravated me. I expressed it. He showed effort. My walls began to come down.
In our short two months together, we have done more than I would have ever imagined. We danced, you performed, Disneyland, moving, cooking, family time, long drives, friends, naps, movies, hellos & goodbyes. And the list goes on.
He amazes me. He could be it. We talk about it. He treats me so good. I need him to figure out him though. I mean, I need to do the same for myself. He knows why I'm waiting. I remember the first time he told me he was in love with me was in Hollywood. Of course it's 11pm and the cross street has left my brain. But we were in the car and he was making me laugh and then he just said it. I looked at him and he looked at me and said "Oh! What!? Remember this street, yeah I just said it!" and he was smiling and so was I.
It hasn't been easy. He left last Tuesday for the Army. I never would've thought I would be dating someone in the military. Here we are though and after getting his call today, I know my heart is hooked and I just want to see where this goes. Technically, I really have nothing holding me back from moving. He graduates basic training in late October, then it's specialty school til February 2013. At that point, we will find out where he will be stationed. I guess we will see how things are at that point and then we can really consider me moving. It's scary and exciting.
I just love him.
Sergio.
We met on 6/23/12. We went to the Frolic Room. There was vodka tonic, popcorn, and some meaningful conversation happening that night. He lived in the scary Pico Union district. His apartment was amazing. AHH-may-ZING. He has a cat named Augie. He loves Star Trek. 32. No kids. Never married. Trumpet player. TSA worker. Know it all. Handsome. Serial monogamist.
Yes, of course I spent the night. He told me a secret when he went to bed. Something he said he felt comfortable sharing and that I would personally connect with. Something so private that I can't even share on here. Him and I know what was said. There was no sex. I just stayed. He welcomed me into his world, and I didn't want to leave. Things sped up very fast. He was leaving for the Army in late August. Him and I have discussed the fact that our pace still would've been pretty hasty no matter if he was leaving or not. I can totally see that.
Because things were so rushed, we got to a point in our relationship that couples normally don't get to for a few months. Shit got real, real fast. He aggravated me. I expressed it. He showed effort. My walls began to come down.
::the night i fell in love::
In our short two months together, we have done more than I would have ever imagined. We danced, you performed, Disneyland, moving, cooking, family time, long drives, friends, naps, movies, hellos & goodbyes. And the list goes on.
He amazes me. He could be it. We talk about it. He treats me so good. I need him to figure out him though. I mean, I need to do the same for myself. He knows why I'm waiting. I remember the first time he told me he was in love with me was in Hollywood. Of course it's 11pm and the cross street has left my brain. But we were in the car and he was making me laugh and then he just said it. I looked at him and he looked at me and said "Oh! What!? Remember this street, yeah I just said it!" and he was smiling and so was I.
It hasn't been easy. He left last Tuesday for the Army. I never would've thought I would be dating someone in the military. Here we are though and after getting his call today, I know my heart is hooked and I just want to see where this goes. Technically, I really have nothing holding me back from moving. He graduates basic training in late October, then it's specialty school til February 2013. At that point, we will find out where he will be stationed. I guess we will see how things are at that point and then we can really consider me moving. It's scary and exciting.
I just love him.
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