Sweet November

I've been so busy having fun and being in love that I haven't made time to blog. Man, so much has happened! First, October flew by. I felt as if I was waiting and agonizing over the distance between Sergio and myself. But before I even realized it, it was time for my trip! It was beautiful. I'm never going to forget that moment I first saw him. His face was chiseled and he looked so stern and confident in his uniform. He was literally about 100 ft away from the stands. We were aligned perfectly, literally and metaphorically. I was wearing this awesome Lauren Conrad deep blue lace back dress. My hair was blaring red with matching lips. I stuck out like a beautiful sore thumb. You know what felt the most special that day? Holding his hand. Sure, I wanted to jump in the sack with him but to just be around him and have him hold my hand meant the world to me!! Ugh. I can't get over it. We got to relax and talk. We took pictures and ate and just loved one another. We talked about marriage (eloping specifically!) and babies, where we wanna live and where he possibly could be stationed. Things are happening. It's happening fast. I feel like I'm going into it blindly, but I know I'm a strong person and I WILL succeed. I think the main thing that is on the forefront of my mind is finances. Right now, it makes no sense for me to leave my job that I'm just getting comfortable at and move somewhere that I am unfamiliar with and have no job. Him and I have talked and he's given me all his passwords and he has been open about his debt. I'm not trying to control. This is to get things in order. If anything, he can walk away and know I was one of the best things that ever happened to him. It's in my nature to be a healer, a giver, a provider. I always want to make things better. And I intend to.

Things have gotten easier in the sense that we are able to speak everyday on the phone. He is miserable and regrets this decision. It's hard for me to hear since I feel SO confident about what we have developed into. But every thing happens for a reason. This will help him no matter what. By the time he finishes AIT he will have a year under his belt. That means only three more. He can do this. We can do this. We have to be each others rock. I just want things to be ok. No wait, I want them to be more than just ok. That's what kills me. At this point, all I can do is listen and write. For now, that has to be enough.

I made a decision to make the trip out there for Thanksgiving. At first I was hesitant because it was $855 just for the flight. But you know what, I spend money all the time and rarely can remember what I use the money for. I technically had this money, and I'll never regret or forget what I used it for. This is important. He is now my family. Thanksgiving is about being grateful and surrounding yourself with those that you love most. He needs me and I need him and this is the right thing to do. My bills will be paid, maybe not at the rate that I had been planning, but they will be paid nonetheless.

I am abundant.

the morning of 11/9/12 ♥