When one door closes...

another one opens. It's really scaryexcitingwonderful how you put something out into the Universe and then BAM! You get what your heart desires. It side swipes you and sometimes you literally are left breathless.

So yesterday at 2:56pm I got what I was slightly holding my breath for...a text. It was from him simply asking "do you dislike me?" Umm...no, but you definitely aren't my favorite person right now. I indulged and wrote back. He told me "it sounds gay, but I feel emo :/ " hmmm...ya think? The selfish part of me was happy to hear that he was hurting without me. Then I felt empty. You "wish" for something like that to occur, but who actually wins? If anything, it made me feel even more shitty. He went on to tell me that he is feeling "a wide range of emotions" I then wrote back and told him I understood where he was coming from. And then...that was it. Of course that completely effed up my afternoon, I kept anticipating another mystery text from him. Why? Who knows?! I'm a nosy rosy I guess. Maybe I liked that evil, shitty feeling I felt knowing that the situation finally got to him. I'm a bitch {smirk}

I took my nephews and sissy to JIPC and we played...and I gave in. Not only did I text him to find out what these wide range of emotions were, but I called. We spoke for about 20 minutes. It was a waste. Why did I do that? Ugh! I feel like he had the "one up" on me. I texted bestest and I text Shawn*, both were supportive as they possibly could be. I then went home and arrived by nine. Now I was mad. Now he had me thinking. I'm upset that I gave in. I needed to get this off my chest, I needed to vent.

Who do I call though?

Chris.

So I did just that...and I cried. He let me be upset. Things went around in circles. I wished him well and hung up. At this point the tears have dried and I'm just done. I'm done.

I take a shower to cool off so to speak. I end up talking on the phone with Shawn from after 10pm 'til 4am...yeah. Yeeeeeah.

*I don't even want to touch base on him yet. He is deserving of his own dedicated blog. Eek!